So...yeah.

Well guys, I was going to do a review on Come Hell or High Water by Michelle Bardsley, but I'm just honestly not in the mood at the moment. As we all know, when it rains it pours; yet on occasion you somehow manage to miss the rain and pour and instead have a giant bolt of lightening come zap you in the ass. This leaves you terribly confused as to the source, since last you checked, it was sunny and perfect out. Unfortunately, I got zapped....then zapped...then lit on fire and booted down a hill. So, at the moment I'm not up to par with the humor portion of the program. Thus, I have decided to crawl into a hole for a few days, do my nails and read some Janet Evanovich until I feel better. Sorry my book nuts, see you in a few days.

Early Dawn

Alrighty, my book minions, I have obtained and read the book Early Dawn. And, it was awesome. This one is a little different from my postings of late. It's one of the first non-paranormals I've read in awhile. What can I say, I've been on a kick. This one, my little lovelies, was a historical. And no, not a Lady Bevvington and Lord Ramrod sort of historical; though on occasion I do like those from time to time. However, I must admit they tend to be my least favorite sub-genre in romances; mainly because I find most of the lead females to be TSTL (too stupid to live), which irritates me. Given, this is not true of all books of this nature. For all I know, I may just pick the sucky ones, but none-the-less they are my least often read. This historical is more of the old school western sort with manly men, big guns, wagons and injuns (and, before anyone says anything stupid I'm part native american so shut it. I'm just sticking with the tacky western slang here). Anyway, on to the review!


The Book: Early Dawn
The Author: Catherine Anderson

The description: Matthew Coulter was beaten, shot, and left for dead by the Sebastian gang, but that was nothing compared to the pain he felt when they killed his wife. Swearing that he wouldn’t rest until every last member of the gang was dead, he’s been hunting them for three years. And now, he’s finally close enough to get his revenge. Eden Keegan is the kind of woman who would stand beside a man, never behind him, but she’s taken to her limits when she’s kidnapped by the Sebastian gang. Then, against all hope, she’s rescued in the middle of the night by a man with a hard glint in his eye. But is Coulter just another outlaw? He certainly looks like a scoundrel, but as they try to lose the Sebastians in the wilderness, she learns that under his rough exterior is a decent man who suddenly finds himself at a crossroads. Coulter knows that revenge can finally be his if he just turns to face his pursuers. If he fails, he dooms Eden to captivity…or worse. Now he has a choice to make. Settle the score…or surrender to his heart’s desire.


Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuun....
So, I really enjoyed this book. Her descriptions are amazing (I live in Colorado and have driven by No Name...yes, the town actually exists, thank you) and the views are dead on....provided by dead on you can imagine the view pre-skyscrapers and cities. The heroin is probably one of my absolute favorites from any of her books. She's ballsy, stubborn, intelligent, can kick some major butt, is good with weapons, yet is also innately girlie. Any girl who can shoot guns and still dress well gets my vote for awesomeness. Plus, it's nice to read a story where the girl is slightly less damaged than the male of the book. It's nice to remind us that sometimes it's us who can be the stronger and more sensible of the two. Of course, with her fiery personality comes some rash decisions and statements, but I feel that these were included in order to help confound any men that happened across the book and to solidify their misconception that we are confusing beings who do things that make no sense. Given, sometimes we do, but to us it makes perfect sense. So there. Anywho, the baddies are really bad, which makes them all the more awesome; thus making the hero and heroine all the more awesome for their evasiveness. All in all I give this one a 4.5 out of 5 (after all, I did read it in 4 hours, which means it has to be pretty darned good, right?). Good setting, good characters, well developed story; another winner for Mrs. Catherine Anderson. =0)

Tasy and Delicious

Also, I though I'd gift you with some eye candy. Here for your viewing pleasure is model Brock Harris (he's cute enough that I will let that name slip):



And because I'm feeling extra generous today, a second helping of Tyler Batchel. mmmmmmm. Enjoy!





Sooooooooooooo mannnyyy musclessssssssssssssssss *drool*

Woooot and A Nameless Witch

Hello my lovelies! Today I bring you awesomely good news as well as a new review *yayyyy!!!* So, good news to start, yes? I FINALLY got my copy of Early Dawn. It only took for freaking ever (thank you barnes and noble). Only more irritating was that while in wait of my ordered copy, I came across a copy in WalMart. Yes, I said WalMart. Because it makes perfect sense for the book store to be out of copies, but lord forbid Walmart run out. Yeah. Now, your probably saying, "well then, you whiney twit, why didn't you just freaking buy it then?" And my answer to all of you sensible people is this: gift card. So, like I said, I have finally obtained the book and thus shall read it promptly. Now, for the woot! mentioned in my title (you all thought it was the book didn't you, DIDN'T YOU??!!) Upon having a short, but intense conversation with my fellow book loving bestie (who also loves all things nails btw) I have managed to convincer her to co-write my blog with me *yay*. Now, your all probably going, "but why is this exciting?" to which I reply "why not?!?!" She is witty, funny, amazing and, best of all, lacks my forgetfulness and thus will prevent long lapses of un-postness that I am always so guilty of. Now, on to the book!


The book: A Nameless Withc
The Author: A. Lee Martinez
The description: A

tale of vengeance, true love, and cannibalism

Being born undead can have its disadvantages, such as eternal youth and flawless beauty  ---things most unsuitable for a witch. Hiding behind the guise of a grimy old crone, the witch is content living outside Fort Stalwart with her unlikely band of allies: a troll named Gwurm, an enchanted broom, and a demonic duck named Newt. She leads a simple life filled with spells, potions, and the occasional curse.

So when a White Knight arrives at Fort Stalwart, the witch knows her days of peace are at an end. The Knight is just days in front of a horde of ravenous goblings, and Fort Stalwart lies right in the horde’s path. But the goblings are just the first wave of danger, and soon the witch and the Knight must combine forces on a perilous quest to stop a mad sorcerer from destroying the world.

Now, this was my first read my A. Lee Martinez. It was one of those lucky used book store finds. After reading this I have determined that I like this style of writing and will likely find some other A. Lee Martinez books to absorb...I mean read, This story was full of humor, adventure, love, loss and, of course, mythical creatures of awesomeness. I heartily enjoyed this book. It had some wise quotes and some things that made me giggle. The writing style was reminiscent of Ella Enchanted, but more grown up. Thus, it made my little kid heart go pitter-pat with images of Camelot. Even though there was no mention of Camelot, go figure. The heroine was witty, honest and genuinely likeable. The hero was tall, dark and broodishly quiet, yet sweet. The companions were all lovable in their own way (my favorite was Penelope). I give this book a 3.5 out of 5. Also, there is only 1 sex scene and it's not really descriptive at all; thus I also approve this book to be a great young adult read as well. =0)

Deep Kiss of Winter (oooh, it's frostay!!!)

First off, yes, I know that was corny. And no. I don't care. It was still awesome. Anywho, today's (yes, another today's.....even though I read it last week. Shoosh! That's enough from you!) book is Deep Kiss of Winter, which is by Kresley Cole and Gena Showalter. No, it's not a compilation of both authors on two stories; it's a separate stories that are both in the same book. Currently it is only available in hardcover since it was released in October. It is the newest installment of Kresley's Immortals After Dark  or ash she refers to it IAD....much shorter and sweeter) series. This series is amazing (see previous posts cupcake reference). The are all intertwined, but as often in a romance series, unique. The books while they may tie in character-wise or there may even be overflow from one to the next, the stories each stand on their own two feet and have a beginning, middle and end for those characters. However, you get to revisit older characters in newer books and that just makes me darned happy. My personal favorite, is Nix, who is out of her bloomin' mind (which is likely why she's referred to as nucking futs nix) and who has a pension to wear t-shirts with odd sayings like "I play with my Prey." Kresley's world is one of supernatural splendor, complete with Vampires, Werewolves (or as she refers to them Lykae), Valkyrie, Fey, Witches and any other mythical beings you can think of....even kobolds (who btw are not cute nor cuddly). Anyway here is your description *yaaaaaayyyyy*:

KRESLEY COLE

delivers a breathtaking tale of a brutal vampire soldier about to know love for the first time...and a Valkyrie aching to be touched.

Murdoch Wroth will stop at nothing to claim Daniela the Ice Maiden -- the delicate Valkyrie who makes his heart beat for the first time in three hundred years. Yet the exquisite Danii is part ice fey, and her freezing skin can't be touched by anyone but her own kind without inflicting pain beyond measure. Soon desperate for closeness, in an agony of frustration, Murdoch and Danii will do anything to have each other. Together, can they find the key that will finally allow them to slake the overwhelming desire burning between them?

Not for the review portion of the program: While I did love this story, it is, unfortunately, my least favorite of her series so far. That being said, DO NOT THINK THAT MEANS IT ISN'T AMAZING...or I will kill you. On the grand scheme or her amazingness, this one is just a tad shy of the rest. The book is definitely worth the read, it is amusing, action packed, stocked to the gills with supernatural awesomeness and, of course, complete with hunky man. I just had slight issue with the heroine. She was sexy, smart, capable and a tad...whiney. I think it was the whiney that got to me. In all of her other books the femmes were badass. They all had some soft spots, but badassness ruled. Even in Emmaline's story, she was still badass. Naive, unsure, but she still did her business. Daniela is just a tad emo. I understand that if I couldn't touch a person without suffering severe pain, I might be a bit emo too. But, she's half valkyrie. Daniela kind of reminded me of that girl in highschool who always hung out alone and looked like a puppy about to pee herself if anything with a penis looked her way.....only not quite that severe. However, all this considered, I still really enjoyed this book as I have enjoyed all of her books and am not sad I bought it at all. I definitely give this one a 3.5 out of 5. So, kiddies, go get it and read it. Then look forward to her next installment in the IAD series, Pleasure of a Dark Prince, which is due out in Feb.

Tempted, by P.C. and Kristin Cast

Hello there my fellow bibliophiles. Today's tasty review tidbit is of the book Tempted, by P.C. Cast and her daughter Kristin Cast. Tempted is the 6th installment in the House of Night series. And for everyone going, "Hey, those are young adult novels and your so not even a teenager!" I am aware of this and I don't give a crap. This series rocks my socks, so all I have to say to you is a very mature *ttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhppppp* Which for those of you unfamiliar with that language, is me blowing a very mature raspberry at you. I highly recommend this series, they are amazing and wonderful. Like cupcakes. But not just any cupcakes, the kind that are full of sugary, fatty goodness. You know, the kind where you tell yourself you just want one, then eat the entire box and feel like a heifer? Those kind. I've also determined that the Dark Hunter series, Kresley Cole in general and everything Janet Evanovich or Catherine Anderson has written also give me that cupcakey goodness feeling. And no, I'm not saying their nauseatingly sweet, I'm saying you can't just read/have one. Ever.

Now, back to the House of Night-ness. If your new to the series, the series is basically an interesting twist on the idea of vampirism and the lives of said vampires. Basically, vampirism is a genetic trait that comes about in an indeterminate amount of time, generally around the teenage years (because there's no better time to become even more awkward and uncomfortable right?). Once the vampire trait manages to manifest itself, you are sent to the House of Night. A sweet vampire high school, for lack of a better description. Here you study and (hopefully) become the great vampire you were always meant to be. Enter in Zoey Redbird; vampire by accident, awesome by intent. She is a bad ass, yet adorable naive and sweet, who can kick ass, take names, then stop for some brown pop and chips. I feel like if she were a nail polish she'd be Royal Rajah Ruby by OPI. Anywho, the books follow Zoeys journey, which of course is wrought with unexpected horrors and general teen frustration and sarcasm. Now, for the novel du jour (well actually the jour was three days ago, but whatever).

Here is your description from the inside cover my minions, read and enjoy:

So…you’d think after banishing an immortal being and a fallen High Priestess, saving Stark’s life, biting Heath, getting a headache from Erik, and almost dying, Zoey Redbird would catch a break. Sadly, a break is not in the House of Night school forecast for the High Priestess in training and her gang. Juggling three guys is anything but a stress reliever, especially when one of them is a sexy Warrior who is so into protecting Zoey that he can sense her emotions. Speaking of stress, the dark force lurking in the tunnels under the Tulsa Depot is spreading, and Zoey is beginning to believe Stevie Rae could be responsible for a lot more than a group of misfit red fledglings. Aphrodite’s visions warn Zoey to stay away from Kalona and his dark allure, but they also show that it is Zoey who has the power to stop the evil immortal. Soon it becomes obvious that Zoey has no choice: if she doesn’t go to Kalona he will exact a fiery vengeance on those closest to her. Will Zoey have the courage to chance losing her life, her heart, and her soul? Find out in the next spectacular installment in the House of Night series, TEMPTED.

Now, this book was pretty darn good. It started off alright, but by midway through I couldn't put the darned thing down (literally...my puffy horror movie worthy, zombie-like appearance can attest to that). The book starts precisely where the last one left off, nunnery and all. This book held lots of surprises, some good, some TERRIBLE....but none the less there were surprises. The action was good, this story is told from several different pov's, which can be a horror, but thanks to the Cast's ingenious labeling of who is telling each chapter, any potential brain muddling was easily avoided. Plus, the characters are all well written and have very distinctive tones and accents. The flow is amazing, the descriptions are wonderful and the quippy comments compliments of Aphrodite just made me giggle. Particularly the reference to a particular male as an asshat. Which, by the way, is now my new favorite insult. However, the ending made my heart break. I will not spoil the book for you. I won't. If you've already read it and need someone to rant to, I'm here. Trust me. I already ranted. And since up until recently my fellow book crazy hadn't read this yet, I ranted to my poor unsuspecting boyfriend; who likely just assumes I am now certifiable since he has never read the series. I wholly recommend you give this series a read. Really. Even if your 75 and use a walker (and yes, I do realize that most people that are 75 don't need a walker; however walkers remind me of my gramma who died recently. So until I'm not sad anymore you all use freaking walkers). I rate this series a 4 out of 5. Now go read. Go!

Post fail and newness

So.....I fail. I had an epically severe posting fail. Sorry anyone who reads this. I know, I know, I post once then fall off the face of the planet. I completely agree that I do, in fact, fail at life and I profusely apologize. However, I did, in fact, have my reasons. They are personal, so I shant share them, but they are really honest to goodness acceptable reasons. Now that the lengthy apology is over and done with, I have things. Book-type things.

So, for all of you who loves you some Catherine Anderson, Early Dawn came out recently (and by recently I mean this last week). I have yet to obtain my copy because the employees at Barnes and Noble apparently want me to spontaneously combust before they decide to call me and tell me my copy has arrived. I promise a review as soon as I get the bloody book....or a sad note if I die trying. Also, P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast's newest installment in the House of Night series is out. I have read this. All I can say is OMGWTFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! Which will be explained in it's review, but fear not my pretties! The next installment is due out in April (thank god). Also, though it came out a few months ago I have finally conquered the newest Kresley Cole book, which was both delicious and full of awesomeness (a review of that will be following as well).

I have also concluded that I love girlie things like nail polish, makeup and shoes as much as I love books, so I plan on also starting a separate blog for all things beauty (http://mermaid-to-order.blogspot.com/ ). This will come complete with reviews, hauls, tutorials and epic fails. Feel free to view all of them =0).